Friday, August 21, 2009

maiden blog

Not sure if the term maiden actually applies here since I'm not new to blogging.. I used to have another blog. I poured out my heart and soul to that blog and it remained a faithful friend through a lot of happy and hard times. But here I am, starting over. This is for two reasons. The first reason is because I feel so far removed from the blogger of my past. I have grown and struggled into the person I am today and I felt like this change needed a fresh start of its own. The second reason? I forgot my login information to my other blog and I locked myself out. Whoops. So now, I can only read my past entries like the rest of you did. As an observer. Which feels about right.

So, without looking back, I am starting over with a fresh canvas on which to scribble my life. Thank you for joining me on the journey.

The basics of me? I am a 23-year-old woman living in Dallas with my husband of just over 2 years. I am the managing editor of a magazine in North Dallas, and he is a graduate student at UT Southwestern Medical Center (getting a Ph.D in Clinical Psychology). We are "in love" - and have learned that, more than anything, being "in love" means that we fight tooth and nail to stay together because we choose to love each other every day. It's not because we've got that lovin' feeling... OH, NO. All you married peeps are saying "Amen, sister!" because you know that love is a choice much more often than it is a feeling. More on marriage later... It's one of my favorite topics. That, and chocolate.

My hubby and I are members (individuals who are active and investing of time and resources into the people and projects of the church and the lost individuals it serves) of Watermark Community Church in North Dallas. We have an incredible group of couples who have all been married for less than three years and we are walking out this thing called life with them. We also get to hang out with the coolest (and most exhausting) group of 4-year-olds every other Sunday. We learn so much from them! (Such as, we are NOT ready to have a 4-year-old of our own...)

With all that said, we are both firm believers in the idea - NO. the FACT. - that the church is not about the building and the funds and the music. It is about Jesus and what we allow Him to accomplish through us. We are his plan for the salvation of the nations. Jesus died for them, but WE HAVE TO TELL THEM! There is no Plan B. We - the church - are it. Youch.. I'm convicted just thinking about this.. Thank God for His mercies.

I am a passionate person who, for a time, lost sight of the things that made her that way. I am doing my best to make up for that lost time. Part of my reasoning for writing this blog is to discover the hidden things of my heart. I'm a lot more honest when I write, and it's time for me to get real with myself and everyone else.

The bottom line? I AM A SINNER. I have turned away from God in the time of my trouble. My life has taken harsh turns that I didn't expect, and I didn't trust that He was enough for me. My God has proven Himself trustworthy in every situation, and I am learning to lay it all at His feet. In this time of refining, I have been able to see more clearly than ever the calling that He has put in my heart. I hope that, as you read, you will see me chasing after this call. I am done abdicating my role in the body of Christ. I am chasing after my gifts and I am chasing after my fulfillment in God's plan for me.

Purpose. It's satisfying. For my first assignment for our church's small publication, I wrote about a group of lawyers from my church who recently traveled to Goma, Congo, to meet with and encourage local lawyers. If you aren't aware of the situation in Goma, there is a horrifying war taking place in this small region in Africa. Rape and murder is taking over this land and the people of this region need men and women to stand up for them. These lawyers have said they are ready to die to advocate for the men, women and children being killed and raped each day. These are the stories I want to tell. These are the people that need help. It's not a publicity stunt. It's a raging war that no one is talking about.

This world needs Jesus. This world needs a Savior.

I have come to a place where I cannot go about my life and see the injustices and tragedies that are happening every day in every city and country. I need to do something. So, you out there. Help me. The whole point of what I feel is my purpose in this life is to tell the stories of people who cannot speak up for themselves. Awareness. People, everyone, needs to know about these individuals whose lives have been treated as worthless and inhumane. If we don't help them, who will? It is not the government's job to take care of everyone, although they do some wonderful things. It is OUR JOB to care for the orphans and widows, the oppressed and the beaten.

I can't wait to see what God is going to do. He is the Healer and the Provider. He is everything this hurting world needs.